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Please read to the tune of AC/DC’s “Big Balls”:

In the ever upper class of Phish hilarity,

lives a song with chaotic notoriety.

Whether in the Eagles Ballroom (6/17/94)

or at Memorial Hall (2/15/93),

Fish, Mike,Trey, and Page

had the biggest balls of all.

Oh, Phish had big balls,

Brad released those big balls,

they were such big balls,

bouncy big balls.

The band jammed to big balls.

We bounced those big balls.

Oh Phish had the biggest balls of them all.

The first Ball Jam followed “Tweezer,”

some “Ball Jams” followed “Mule,”

in ‘93 it seemed they would come

and come again (4/1/93 Portland, OR).

If you were at the Warfield (5/25/94)

after “Contact” your “Ball Jam” did transpire,

later that year (12/9/94 Mesa, AZ),

I report without cheer,

the “Ball Jam” was retired.

Oh, Trey picked a big ball,

Mike picked a big ball,

they were such big balls,

bouncy big balls.

Page picked a big ball.

We bounced those big balls.

Fishman’s drumbeat followed the slowest ball of them all.

Some “Ball Jams” followed “Poor Heart,”

No “Ball Jam” featured guests,

and the one that followed “Peaches”

is the one that I liked best.

Since with the big balls I was bouncing to the

left and to the right,

and it’s my belief that

those big balls will bounce again some night.

Oh, the crowd passed the big balls,

to the front of the gig halls,

they were such big balls,

bouncy big balls.

Then we shot those big balls,

onto the stage of those gig halls.

Then Phish caught the biggest balls of them all.

It’s been my pleasure to tell you about them,

oh they were such wonderful fun.

Kind veggie burritos,

glass, headnugs.

Watch Big Ball Jam on YouTube Phish "Runaway Jim> Big Ball Jam" – 7/21/93, Middletown, NY. Video by DSA.