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"Rock A William" features the inimitable Jon Fishman on guitar and lead vocals, Mike on piano, Trey on drums, and Page on bass. Sadly, it has made just five appearances, all in 1997.

“Rock A William” is a dark but comic song, purportedly based on a true story of a “very strange man” the band met in Colorado in 1987 while spending the night in a purple house and partaking of Bloody Marys and turkey ham.“ A loner just like Malachi from Children of the Corn,” William lives in a cabin in the hills and has purportedly hit a bear on the nose with a hammer. He appears at the purple house with the hammer in hand, where his sister is upstairs with Timber Ho. William grabs Timber Ho by the hair while his sister screams, but the others present – remembering the bear – fear to intervene. “We didn’t want to die!” The song ends inconclusively, with the hammer “held high,” before it dissolves into Fishman’s inspired guitar renderings and Mike’s piano outro. Check the 2/26/97 Stuttgart outing for a particularly good version.

(Fishman)

oooh oooooh
oh oh oh oh
they knew that he was different
from the moment he was born
a loner just like Malichai
from children of the corn
he always wore a hat
and he always wore it right
and as he grew he became
a creature of the night

he spent his nights alone
in a cabin on a hill
some folks don't believe it
but i know he's up there still
i heard him with a bear
with a hammer on the nose
and you can hear them singing
everywhere he goes

oooooh rock a william
oooooh rock a william
oooooh rock a william
oooooh rock a william

The house was big and purple
We stayed there for the night
Bobby Whiteshoes showed up
his shoes were big and white
Uncle Donny ate split peas
uncooked straight from the can
Charlene made Bloody Marys
and we talked about the man

we should have known when we say
Baby Huey on the pole
and heard that William's sister
upstairs with timber hole
we thought that it was funny
as we ate the turkey ham
'til we saw Rock a William
had his hammer in his hand

oooooh Rock a William
oooooh Rock a William
oooooh Rock a William
oooooh Rock a William

William walked into the room
and grabbed him by the hair
We almost ran to help him
'til we thought about the bear
We heard his sister screaming
as he raised his hammer high
when we asked us we wear white shoes
cause we didn't want to die

oooooh Rock a William
we danced
oooooh Rock a William
raise his hammer high
oooooh Rock a William
We didn't want to die
oooooh Rock a William
He screamed his last scream
oooooh Rock a William

oooooh Rock a William
oooooh Rock a William
oooooh Rock a William
oooooh Rock a William
oooooh Rock a William
oooooh Rock a William
oooooh Rock a William
oooooh Rock a William
oooooh Rock a William
ooooh